One Road, Two Directions – Living with Lymphoma Week 75

Retrospection & Consideration.

Which Way??

Which Way??

Back or forward – which is the best way to look?

There hasn’t been much time for me to look back.  And when I do, the things I see are strange.

A guy on an Acoustic Neuroma Facebook group I belong to recently solicited positive things people had gone on to do after surgery.  I had a smile on my face as I recounted riding my bike 100 miles with friends, writing a book (with the next one so close), and all the sailing I had done.

Then I mentioned being a cancer patient, doing 6 months of chemotherapy, and moving on again.

We’ve all heard the quote about how success is getting up one more time than you fall.  Hurray.  Yippy Skippy.  I hate defining either myself, or the things I do with terms like Success.  Or Survivor.  Warrior?  Nah.   I just am.  I do.

So I look forward.

My novel has been hashed through several times.  It was so bad I finally just “threw out the bath water” but kept the baby.  The core of the story is still there – because I know it’s a good one.  And I’m telling the best I can.

Life has changed.  Getting back on the water has calmed my soul.  The boat is fun, frustrating, and rewarding – all at the same time.  And there’s something about being held by the sea that just works for me.

But I really don’t spend much time in the present.  It’s just a place holder.

I’m living in the future.

My mind is constantly filled with stories – snippets of the one I’m transcribing and notes for future tales.  Long open circuits have been closed, activating plans that have been dormant for so long.  The Sleeper Cells of Life, if you will.

I’ve lain bandaged in hospital beds after people touched my brain, and sat pumped with toxic chemicals in order to live.  I’ve preached about making the future now.  Don’t Wait, I said, Do It Now!

I’m doing my best to take my own advice.

 

Updates:

  • I’m still in remission at last check – the next scan is at the end of September.  I don’t really worry about it anymore.  It is what it is, and will continue to be what it will be.
  • The fantasy novel is in what I believe to be the final major revision.  It’s getting The Lovely Bride seal of approval – which means it doesn’t bore her to tears like previous versions.  I’m pretty excited about that.
  • We’re living aboard Eclipse for the summer – which has been a huge (but fun) adjustment to our lives.  The process of making her ours will be a long one, but it’s gratifying work.  We’ve set up a site to share our adventures at www.eclipsethewind.com.
  • I haven’t been on the bike as much as I would like.  I’ve found that I struggle to more than one thing well at a time – and right now it’s the book – but I need to change that since I’ve decided the “Recovery Ride” from the cancer thing is going to see me finish the Total 200 Double Century ride (200 miles in one day).
  • The Lovely Bride is doing very well.

 

Added Bonus: Mike understands about living in the future…

 

 

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